What I’ve Found

I went in search of finding myself.

I tried to consider my every whim.

I switched from coffee to tea.

If anyone hurt me I either cut them out or gave them a taste of their own medicine.

I put myself, I didn’t cook if I didnt want to and I didnt clean if I didn’t feel like it.

I didnt take a job coz I felt I could do better.

En fin…

Here I am, 6 years down the road, either on the couch or in bed, 30kgs heavier, no wish to wake up… No dream … No vision, playing mind numbing games and watching reruns of Star Trek.

I realized, the search for myself has lead me to Emptiness.

Without CHRIST, I am nothing. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror physically nor my thoughts, my choices even my actions.

HE truly in a GENTLEMAN, when i choose to walk my own way HE does not force me to stay HIS course. HE lets me make my own choice.

Here i am now. Repentant. Looking for HIM to find me … Again.

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